I am missing my grandmother so much. Its been over a year and still feels like yesterday. She took my heart away and she is never coming back. No good times ever come back. I want to write so much but I have suppressed my feelings inside myself for so long that it's very difficult for me to take them out and to pen down. In November , a whole year passed , on the 27th. I , initially wanted to keep the tittle of my blog ' finding myself within ' in November but I didn't blog at all during November that's why I kept it for December.
In one of my previous posts, I mentioned about blog tittle and said I will elaborate on it later. Well, it is for my grandmother - and how its linked to her? that's difficult for me to express but I'll try.
For the fact, she is no more in my life, she has left an empty space, a vacuum - and that is within myself and around myself, in all aspects.
Its strange , really, how our loved ones leave us and never come back, ever again. It is sad for sure but its more of a strange thing, how our hearts still feel their presence , how our minds still sketch their images in front of our eyes and we are often disillusioned thinking and dreaming about them. I don't even know what I am talking about here.
I don't like the fact that already over a year has passed since she left us. Why is time passing by so quickly ? Its not fair. life is not fair.
I'll end here for now. I might talk more about her in future posts. I hope and pray that Allah gives me the strength to go through this - not the sadness, the empty space even though I always would want to feel the empty space she left for nobody can ever take her place and I somehow feel it would be fair to keep it that way. It was only hers. No one else's.